Theology Blog

Below is a sermon I wrote and delivered over a year ago about the flawed idea that ‘God does not give us more than we can handle.’

Let’s Pray. This week we continue our new sermon series that will bring us to lent. We are looking at lies we believe, things we think are true and even maybe sound Christian or Biblical and so we choose to believe them when in all reality they are lies. Last week I shared about the lie that is Karma and the contrasting truth that is redemption. This week our lie is a phrase I hear often from Christians. It is one that sounds good, nice and very Godly, but is not actually true. Sadly, it is used without abandon and in some of the worst times with people who are in deep pain or suffering and people who are overwhelmed. Well-meaning Christians in an attempt to cheer them up and speak truth, not only hurt them, but offer them something not quite true.

It’s a simple phrase: ‘God won’t give you more than you can handle.’ Some of you have said this or had it said to you. Some of you have accepted this as truth for many, many years. It is not true. It is not Biblical. It is not Christian. There are three parts of this statement I want to point out to you that are false. The first is simple. It is one connected to some things I said in last week’s sermon. The first part of the phrase: ‘God won’t give you…’ Please know that God does not do things to us. Our pain, suffering, difficulty, the things that overwhelm and hurt us. God does not do those things to us. God is not a fairy or a genie or as one movie puts it ‘a mean kid on an ant hill with a magnifying glass waiting to watch you squirm.’ I think we know this, but like many of these lies, we do not always speak, act or live like we know it is not true. God does not sit around giving us hard things to deal with or to punish us. The fact is things that happen are a fact of life, the difficulty of relationships, the reality of natural consequences. Whether our difficulties are caused by sin, natural consequences, pain, brokenness, evil, the devil or whatever else, it is not God. Bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people. Things happen we do not deserve, we did not cause, do or even see coming. God does not give us suffering and pain. He took our suffering and pain on the cross. Ok, now that rant is over, on to rant number 2.

The word ‘more’ is one that always strikes me in this sentence. God never, ever, ever promises life will be easy. Jesus certainly does not promise that following him will be easy. In fact, he goes out of his way in many ways and on many occasions to say just the opposite. Following Jesus is hard. Sometimes when someone throws this phrase at me, and I do not have time to discuss theology, am grumpy or think they will not listen to me rant about how this is not Biblical (and not actually helpful, especially in the many moments it is used) I simply respond by saying: ‘well, then God and I are clearly not on the same page about how much I can handle!’ We are never promised it is going to be easy. Ever!

On to my third rant about this phrase and it comes in the last part of the phrase but also built into the phrase as a whole. It is not about what we can handle. It is not a test. It is not God pushing us to our limits or even giving us so much stuff it forces us to rely on him. God never forces a relationship with him on anyone. God invites everyone to relationship with him, but God never forces a relationship with him on us through suffering, pain and difficulty. God does not sit around evaluating what we can and cannot take and push us to our limits just for fun, as a test or as a lesson to teach us something. That is not who God is at all.

Our three simple Gospel verses sum it up well. In fact, we do not have to even go further than the first three words to find a key truth that contrasts this lie that is ‘God will not give you more than you can handle.’ Come to me. Come to me. Jesus offers us a direct invitation to come to him. He loves us, wants to be with us, especially in our suffering. He is our intermediary between us and the Father. Come here to me. The invitation is extended to all but is only enjoyed by those who are actually willing to go to Jesus. Come as a child. The only requirement is to recognize our need for Jesus and be willing to accept him. That is it. The lie is ‘God won’t give you more than you can handle’ and the truth is ‘you are invited to bring your burdens to Jesus.’

Jesus in this passage uses the image of a yoke. I do not know if you have ever seen one of these things; they are quite barbaric. Made for humans, others made for animals, they are meant to make a load easier to carry or pull. It is like a giant loop or harness around your neck. Some yokes just by themselves can weigh 10-50 pounds not even counting the wagon and the load on it. I put one on once. That was enough for me. The truth is so many times that is what our burdens feel like, a giant weight around our neck that pulls us down, keeps us stuck and seems impossible to move. Then comes along the well-meaning friend or family member who looks past our burden and says, ‘oh sweetie, it will be ok,ay God does not give you more than you can handle.’ Bull (get the pun?)! God does not give me suffering. And when I face suffering and burdens, it is often more than I could handle by myself. Many times it is more than we can handle with the help of others. Jessica and I were talking about how annoyed we are by this phrase and the way it is used and she spoke a lot of a childhood friend who lost her very young child to drowning. She continues to live with it and has not gotten over it. Many people said things like this to her. They meant well, but it did not help. Salt in a wound. Salt in a wound with no purpose because it is just not true. I have yet to meet a single parent who has lost a child to any circumstances at any age who looks at that and says, no problem, I can handle that. Life often gives us far more than we could ever handle, and Jesus in those moments looks to us and invites us to him, to pass the load off to him and to take on his love and grace, which is light and free, a gift that brings life instead of bringing us down.

Those who bring their burdens to Jesus trade their burdens for the yoke of Jesus, unconditional love and grace. A deep peace that comes in letting go of the things that bring us down and simply give them to God. We just need to be a little child. “Jesus had come to know his father the way a son does: not by studying books about him, but by living in his presence, listening for this voice, and learning from him as an apprentice does form a master, but watching and imitating.” As children we all wanted to grow up. As adults, most of us would give our left arm to be a kid again. The adult life is burdensome. Taking our burdens and giving them to Christ means we taken on his yoke, the life of a child, simple and free. Only Jesus can do that for us. No one else can do it. We cannot do it on our own. The demands, difficulties and uncertainness of life are simply too much for us to handle on our own and even with the help of others. We need Jesus. So does the world. I am often heartbroken as I meet people who do not know Jesus and are going through a very painful situation, because I just cannot imagine not having Jesus in my own difficult times.

Come to me you who are exhausted, hurting, burdened, scared and I will take those things from you and give you rest.

‘God won’t give you more than you can handle’ is simply a lie, but the beautiful truth is that in the midst of your burdens God has offered you an invitation to bring those burdens to Jesus. He is waiting. Introduce rock exercise.