Theology Blog

I have decided to do some theological writing and reflecting on the same-sex marriage debate. While I cannot decide if this is a brave, stupid, unnecessary or necessary decision, there is no question that in the Christian church in the United States today, this is the most divisive and painful issue we face. I have seen families, churches, denominations, friendships and more torn apart as a result of this debate.

The biggest issue in this debate currently is tone. I continued to be shocked by the level of hatred, anger, judgment and downright nastiness of this debate. While I have friends on every side of the issue, I see no reason for hate, judgment or even anger. I cannot think of any significant conflict that has been solved using any of these feelings. No one can make an valid theological or Biblical argument (regardless of ones theology or view of the Bible) for any of these attitudes and approaches. The ungraciousness that I continue to see in the midst of this debate is most disheartening. I understand that some are scared. I understand that some are passionate. I understand that some feel hurt, slighted and rejected. I would never want to minimize these feelings, but we can manage our reaction to them. There is no excuse for treating anyone poorly, especially if we are treating them poorly because they live differently, think differently or believe differently than we do. Treating this issue as a war; whether a social justice war or a culture war gets us nowhere. Furthermore, it is not at all consistent with the character of Christ. We have failed in learning how to disagree and treat others as people created in the image of God (this goes both ways in this debate). Instead we have reduced the value of people to their beliefs or behaviors. Most on the many sides of this issue (there really are more than two) are guilty of this. I start with this issue, because if we cannot find a way to change our tone, we can never really tackle this issue in a way that is healthy, values people, builds the church instead of tearing it down and results in a way forward both in the short-term and the long-term.

Grace in all things.