Theology Blog

I have decided to do some theological writing and reflecting on the same-sex marriage debate. While I cannot decide if this is a brave, stupid, unnecessary or necessary decision, there is no question that in the Christian church in the United States today, this is the most divisive and painful issue we face. I have seen families, churches, denominations, friendships and more torn apart as a result of this debate.

When I am honest about the core feeling behind this issue, regardless of what your belief about the issue is, the core feeling is fear. Both the right side and the left side of the issue (and everything in between) struggle with fear. Legitimately and illegitimately so.

For those on the right side of the issue, the fear is a loss of control, loss of values and more. To be entirely honest those on the right side of the issue fear what they do not understand. They fear that a view that they do not agree with will be forced up on them. While this is a normal feeling, fear does not help us find resolution or unity.

For those on the left side of the issue, the fear is one of rejection, inequality, value and more. To be honest, those on the left side of the issue fear that they will be denied rights for being different. This is a legitimate fear, but when fear becomes the driving force of our life, we are not able to fully live.

A life lived in fear is no life at all. Fear gets us nowhere.

I have decided to do some theological writing and reflecting on the same-sex marriage debate. While I cannot decide if this is a brave, stupid, unnecessary or necessary decision, there is no question that in the Christian church in the United States today, this is the most divisive and painful issue we face. I have seen families, churches, denominations, friendships and more torn apart as a result of this debate.

When I think about this debate, I have to ask myself, when it comes to the church, what should be our goal? It seems that our current goal is making sure our particular view is applied universally. This is not a helpful, healthy or even achievable goal. I am also not convinced that it is what God at all wants for us. We are each uniquely created in the image of God. Diversity is a good thing! Diversity of race, gender, viewpoint etc is a gift from God. Its not the end of the world for some churches to embrace same-sex marriage and others to not do so. Its reasonable to assume that some denominations will embrace same-sex marriage, others will not and others will allow for diversity within their denomination on this issue. Its ok for us to identify with the church and denomination that aligns with our view and its not impossible or wrong to identify with a church or denomination that embraces a perspective on this issue that is different from our own.

More importantly, in the midst of this diversity, it is ok for us to hold fast to our view and still embrace, work with, love and accept individuals, churches and denominations that we disagree with. Unity is essential. Unity is what God desires for his people and his church. We can (and should) achieve unity even when we disagree! There is no need to hate, mock or outright reject those who see this issue differently than we do. What we need the most in our church and in our world (especially the US government) is unity in the midst of disagreement and a greater focus on where we agree and can work together instead of putting all of our energy into focusing on where we disagree. We can be different and still united. It’s the call of all of God’s people. Instead of focusing on being right, maybe we should focus on serving one another and the world together.

Unity is possible and it should be our priority.

I have decided to do some theological writing and reflecting on the same-sex marriage debate. While I cannot decide if this is a brave, stupid, unnecessary or necessary decision, there is no question that in the Christian church in the United States today, this is the most divisive and painful issue we face. I have seen families, churches, denominations, friendships and more torn apart as a result of this debate.

I have taken a lot of time over the past 17 years to look at this issue in a wide variety of ways. I have read books, literature and studies on every side of the issue. I have listened to colleagues, mentors and friends discuss the issue. I have spent time learning from and listening to my friends who identify themselves in one of the LGBQT categories. I struggle with even writing that sentence, as I find it hard to focus on categories and defining anyone by their gender or sexual identity as we are so much more! In various seasons I have found myself resonating with almost every ‘side’ of this debate.

In my best, but imperfect attempt to look at the issue from the outside, to step back and look at it from 70,000 feet, I have discovered one important truth: there are fundamental problems with every side of the debate. Whether ignoring the value of people or ignoring the value of some sort of foundational truth or another issue, each side of the issue has its fundamental flaws. While I am choosing not to dive into those flaws as it is far too complicated and generally unhelpful in our moving forward, there is one flaw with every side of the debate that is worth examining:

Every side of this debate sees those on not on their side of the debate in an inaccurate way.

It amazes me how we reduce people to their view on one issue while fighting over the value of people at the same time. Not everyone on the right side of the debate are judgmental, hateful or closed-minded. Not everyone on the left side of the debate are irreligious, immoral, or without standards. Not all people on both sides of the debate are arrogant, selfish or driven by an agenda. The truth is that it is much easier to criticize others than to deal with our own shortcomings and hypocrisy. Not only are generalizations inaccurate, they are divisive and unhelpful. The rhetoric around this issue is not nearly as toxic as the assumptive rhetoric and view of the those on differing sides than our own. Labeling those who think or believe differently than we do is unfair, judgmental, unhealthy and unproductive. Instead of labeling those we disagree with, we must examine our own heart, words and actions as we seek to share and live out our own beliefs on this or any other issue.

Before criticizing others, we should first look in the mirror.

I have decided to do some theological writing and reflecting on the same-sex marriage debate. While I cannot decide if this is a brave, stupid, unnecessary or necessary decision, there is no question that in the Christian church in the United States today, this is the most divisive and painful issue we face. I have seen families, churches, denominations, friendships and more torn apart as a result of this debate.

The biggest issue in this debate currently is tone. I continued to be shocked by the level of hatred, anger, judgment and downright nastiness of this debate. While I have friends on every side of the issue, I see no reason for hate, judgment or even anger. I cannot think of any significant conflict that has been solved using any of these feelings. No one can make an valid theological or Biblical argument (regardless of ones theology or view of the Bible) for any of these attitudes and approaches. The ungraciousness that I continue to see in the midst of this debate is most disheartening. I understand that some are scared. I understand that some are passionate. I understand that some feel hurt, slighted and rejected. I would never want to minimize these feelings, but we can manage our reaction to them. There is no excuse for treating anyone poorly, especially if we are treating them poorly because they live differently, think differently or believe differently than we do. Treating this issue as a war; whether a social justice war or a culture war gets us nowhere. Furthermore, it is not at all consistent with the character of Christ. We have failed in learning how to disagree and treat others as people created in the image of God (this goes both ways in this debate). Instead we have reduced the value of people to their beliefs or behaviors. Most on the many sides of this issue (there really are more than two) are guilty of this. I start with this issue, because if we cannot find a way to change our tone, we can never really tackle this issue in a way that is healthy, values people, builds the church instead of tearing it down and results in a way forward both in the short-term and the long-term.

Grace in all things.

The Problem of Guilt and Shame

Guilt and shame are two of the most toxic things in our culture today. While they are prominent in the church, they are not of God. They are inconsistent with the character and nature of Jesus. Shame may be the most dangerous thing in our culture today. It destroys individuals, relationships and communities. Shame is manipulative and self-perpetuating. The cycle of guilt and shame can be difficult to break. Shame is not Biblical, healthy or effective.

Which path do you choose in the midst of sin/failure? Which direction do you run when you fail God, those you love or yourself? We do have a choice when we fail, sin or fall short. We can choose the path of truth, love and grace or the path of destruction. Run from shame and refuse to shame others.

“The more personal grace becomes for us, the less personal everything else will feel. Choose the path of grace.”

©2015 Rev. Dr. Marcus J Carlson

When it comes to the Christian faith, theology and God there are a lot of aspects, illustrations and elements that are in groupings of three. Three is truly a holy number in many ways. Over the years, I have thought about and collected a list of three’s as it relates to faith and theology. Below is my working chart. I have started with the trinity and tried to align the others under the person of the trinity that I believe they are most connected to, if any at all. It is not perfect and should not be copied because it is an imperfect working document…

Its easy to readily admit that we, as Christ followers are called to mission and service to others. We are called to care for the least, last and lost and bring God’s love, hope, grace and Kingdom to the world. While we know this as individuals and as churches, it is very hard to live out. While there is an abundance of need, finding the desire, resources and means to serve can be a challenge. We know theologically we are called to care and serve and most of us want to, but do not know how. That said, we can all readily admit that we are not doing all that we can and for the most part Christians and the church are not serving in the way that we can or are called. I know most of us mean well, so I have been thinking about what might cause the challenge between what we believe, desire and hope to do and the reality that we are not doing it.

There are two things that stick out to me. First, I think that while we want to serve and reach out to others and our community, we do not make this a priority. So often our own needs and comfort become our priority. In our churches, we know we should consider the external, but it is often secondary to the internal, which is at best backwards theologically. Jesus cared for the disciples, but they had already bought in, their focus was serving others and sharing the love of God with them.

Secondly, while we might want to do a better job minister to those that we are not currently reaching (both as individuals and as a church) we want to be able to do so without any sacrifice. We are willing to change, to give time, energy and especially money to efforts to reach others, but we resist when we are called to sacrifice, to give something up, to suffer so that others can benefit. While this seems natural (and most certainly is) it is not Biblical and is not consistent with the life (and especially death) of Christ.

Perhaps the stumbling blocks between our desire to serve and actually serving are theological. Maybe, we as individuals and the church need to recognize that it is others that are the priority and that we must embrace sacrifice and suffering to serve, just as Christ has done for us.

I have found myself asking this question more frequently than usual lately, but own my own head and out loud. For whom does the church exist, those already in the church, or those not in the church. We all know that the answer is both, but our actions often do not match this belief. While this is a simple and perhaps obvious answer that requires better application, I think there is a more difficult, more important question the church should be asking itself:

For whom does the church primarily exist, those inside the church or those outside of the church?

Its interesting how much discomfort this question can create, especially amongst pastors, church members and otherwise religious people. I am not the first to ask it, nor is this time in history the first time that this question has been raised and needs to be raised. Jesus did ministry in a culture that needed to ask and answer this question as well.

I believe wholeheartedly that the church exists primarily for those outside of the church.

There are many reasons for this and as a pastor; I have to confess that this truth makes both church members and me uncomfortable. The truth is that our churches are not operating in a way that is consistent with the reality that our churches exist primarily for those outside of the church.

I supposed I could write for days as to why this is true, why this matters and how we should look at those of us inside of the church, but instead, I want to share three simple reasons the church exists primarily for those outside of the church.

3 reasons the church exists for those primarily outside of the church:

1. It is consistent with the ministry and teachings of Jesus.

The truth is that most of Jesus ministry was focused on those on the outside. Jesus often criticized the religious leaders and rarely focused his ministry on them. Even his disciples found themselves in second place to adulterers, tax collectors and other cultural degenerates. Jesus came for the whole world (in and outside of the church), for anyone who would follow, but the focus of his earthly ministry was primarily on those outside of the church.

2. The church exists for the world, not for itself.

Bill Hybels correctly states that ‘the local church is the hope of the world.’ The church is truly a mission organization. It is meant to serve, care for and share the gospel with the world. Every local church is located in its place in any season to serve and care for its community. The church is meant to be more like a hospital than a country club. Even those who grew up in the church come from outside of the church in some ways. If the church only existed for itself, most of us would not be in the church today.

3. The church will not survive it is primary purpose is internal.

Practically speaking, the local church would cease to exist in its current form if its primary purpose is internal. Any organization, organism, business or community that is completely internal will eventually die. Whether irrelevancy, lack of resources or age and death, any organization with an internal focus is doomed to die. In the church we see this happening at a saddening rate. Churches continue to close as they are no longer viable, financially and in terms of living members. We often forget that there were those who went before us and were committed to their communities so that the church could thrive for generations to come.

Its not an easy question, but its an important one. Answering this question should be a mental exercise, a theological exercise and something that shapes and changes our mission and function as a church in the world.

“Dad, I would really like to go to Israel with you.”

My first response in my head to my son’s request was one of curious joy, which quickly turned to the practical. “Micah,” I said, “I think that is wonderful and I hope that some day you get to do that. It was a wonderful trip for dad.” His response was simple and unemotional, “Dad, I would like to go with you next year when you go again.” I carefully and gently explained to him (wanting to be realistic, but supportive) I did not think that he would enjoy it at his age. “Micah, it is a lot of walking and a lot of visiting sites. I think you would get bored and would not enjoy it. There is not a lot for kids to do there.” His response struck me as profound. “Dad, I know that, but I still want to go. I just want to walk where Jesus walked.”

I just want to walk where Jesus walked. I could not have said it better myself. For a moment, I got caught up in my own response to his statement. My 9-year-old son had articulated my incredible experience in a more simple and profound way than I had been able to do (part of that pastoral verbosity I suppose). In an instant, I relived my entire trip and the various intellectual, emotional and spiritual responses I had expressed and experienced.

It was an instantaneous reminder not just of a powerful trip, but of my own spiritual journey and all that matters most to me. In Israel, I wanted to walk where Jesus walked, yet my trip and this moment with my son were powerful reminders of what matters most to me: to walk with Jesus and to walk as Jesus walked. In his simple, innocent, pure and authentic expression, Micah reminded me of my own faith and the deep power of childlike faith. Somewhere along the way we lose sight of our childlike faith. It is going to happen to my children, and I had started to wonder up if it was already happening to my son. It is something I do not want to happen, something I will mourn. It goes beyond the parental desire to have our children remain childlike. Every time I get a glimpse of childlike faith in others or even in my own rare moments, I am reminded of the profound nature of Jesus’ challenge to all the disciples to have the faith of a child. Though we lose our childlike nature somewhere along the way, I am convinced we do not have to fully lose our childlike faith and can reclaim it in our adult lives.

Paul called his readers to follow him as he followed Christ. While I enjoy my children imitating the good and mourn the bad imitations (which challenges me to rethink and change my own actions, words and responses), there is something much deeper at stake in my mind. I must do all I can to imitate Christ, not just as a disciple or a Pastor but as a parent. As we imitate Christ, we give our children the gift of faith and the opportunity to do more than imitate us but to imitate Christ. My sincere hope is not that my children will become more like me or some other ideal I have about what they should become but that they would become like Christ.

I have often said that what we believe shapes everything; our words, actions, perspective, attitude, relationships, work and so much more. I had said this again recently to a friend who pointed out to me that this quick statement was much more truthful and wise than even I had noted. We assume the belief is the only thing (when it is not) or that it is not that important (it is!). The truth is that our beliefs are essential and they should be something that we are willing to examine. So often I meet people with inflexible beliefs, which is dangerous. It assumes that we are completely right (that is reserved for God), that we do not need to learn and that God is no longer speaking. All dangerous and untrue. Our theology matters and we must be open to learning. We cannot simply respond out of the party line of our school of though, theology, denomination, political party etc. We cannot be closed to the idea that God is, can and will continue to speak to each of us. Theology is powerful!